My Little Secret....

Dallas Green 2011

Alrighty I’m a big music buff which is clear as day, but after today’s little slip up on the radio I feel the need to clear the air. The first step is always admitting you have a problem, and I have a problem. I won NOFX tickets on the radio and was asked to sing a song and I blanked. Which to some, isn’t surprising. You see my problem is that for the life of me I cannot memorize the lyrics to ANY song! At all....none.....nothing... not even Wonderwall, Everlong or Wheightly Ghost. Itsy Bitsy Spider is even a challenge.
So that's the truth, I always mess up words and make up new ones (this includes all of Tim’s & Dallas’ songs too) It’s physically impossible for me to sing a song front to back without making one mistake. This is the reason I cannot become a singer someday, that and I have absolutely no musical talent. It is to the point now where David tells me to sing only in private, or gives me the silent head shake because of my issue. Here are some examples:
(Me)“...But that was a conversation, you’ve done nothing wrong”
(Paperwings, Rise Against) “...But that was a conversation you took nothing from”

(Me) “Well I have no time for you”
(Write it all down for you, Elliot Brood) “Well I write it all down for you” (name of the song)

Now I know you’re thinking “well gee Danielle, those don’t sound so bad, those are just common mistakes”. There’s more...

(Me) – “On a January night when the cold winds breeze, I got an Irish name and an injured Wreath” (Red At Night, Gaslight Anthem) – “On a January night when the cold winds freeze, I got an Irish name and an injury”

(Me) Me “Then he had a pig and felt like a man again”
(Flannagan’s Ball, Dropkick Murphys) “Then he hit a big one and felt like a man again”

(Me) – “Your hands I can’t seem to find, Ba-lou-sha burns my tough”
(Give it All, Rise Against) – “your hands I can't seem to find, Pollution burns my tongue,”
(David and I have yet to figure out what Balousha is)

And of course, the forever infamous "CLEVE'S CLEVE'S CLEVES" which is suppose to be the Cleve's sporting goods slogan. Which isn't even close because the solgan is actually "Source for Sports"

It doesn’t stop at song lyrics, it’s also song names; such as Neil Young’s “A horse with no name"
My version is “A horse with no head” and as David points out, that would make it a dead horse.
So if you see me singing either tell me to stop or please don’t pay attention. I apologize now for any inconveniences I may cause you in the future.